if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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