I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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