she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I believe in your delicious
I think I just sharted jello shots
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