never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
