I want to have your abortion
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
