this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
