All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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