I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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