I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
