Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
