i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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