He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
