wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
