i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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