i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
