My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
