Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
