i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
