tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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