My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize