How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
