I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
