would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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