the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
