I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Life is so much better after having sex.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
