I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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