those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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