As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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