thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
