So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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