Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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