We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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