"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
