Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
