Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
