I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
