I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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