I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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