what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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