Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
