i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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