Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
