I heard we made out
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
