She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
