...so i touched it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i now understand why vodka
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
