that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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