We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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