If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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