Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
