why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
