in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i will never coherently bang her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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