LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
