You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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