1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
