Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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