I wish I only lived at night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
