Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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