No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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