You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
