I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
