she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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