I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
